Still learning

Sue asked awhile ago what I've learned through this. I've been hesitant to put anything down, since I'm not sure what's going to work. BUT there are some things that are absolute:
1) When you have something in your eye, do not try and pull the upper eyelid over the lower one. I did this and removed about 5 eyelashes, the eyelid didn't go anywhere. This may work again after chemo, but not while my hair is falling out.
2) The tracks in my arms make me look like an addict. So far the lack of hair has kept anyone from arresting me.
3) You can't shield your kids from everything. Last night Jenna admitted someone told her that people with cancer die early, and she asked if I was going to die. When I told her I plan on living a very long time, she said "as long as grandma?". Sorry mom, but that did give me a little chuckle. Then, bless her little heart, she moved on to the next big topic; getting braces.
4) Nutrition matters. I feel better right after chemo if I'm eating salads and homemade soup, rather than junk food. I've also started taking a multi-vitamin, multi mineral tablet, a green tea supplement and a turmeric supplement daily. Cut out sugar, or as much as possible. You shouldn't be having dessert with every meal, bring it back to two meals a week. Do as I say on this, not as I do :)
5) Get some exercise. Duh, enough said.
6) Many of the things I've read have talked about reducing inflammation. I still don't know how to do this, other than cutting out dairy. There must me more to it, but I've missed it, or haven't understood. This one isn't really absolute, but thought I'd add it in anyway.
7) You have no idea how people will react, or even who will react. I am still amazed at the outpouring of support by both friends and family. One of the reasons cancer is such a crappy disease is because you feel so out of control. Dr.s will tell you that you can recieve chemo, radiation and surgery, but there isn't anything you can do to fight. Baloney. There is always something else to try, do, read, pray for, etc...

I'm still learing, still trying, still praying. Thank you to my friends and family doing the same.

Chemo today

Today I'm a pincushion. They tried to get blood twice in one arm at the elbow, twice in the other arm at the elbow and then went for the hand. Perhaps a port would be a good idea. The second nurse (yes, it took two of them) said I had to go out the back door so no one would see the job they did on me.

We just got out of the Dr. office, Joe asked about prognosis, but the Dr. could only quote generalities. See Dr. Doom and Gloom below or google cancer of unknown primary for his response. Next time either Joe or the Dr. want to talk about it, I'm leaving the room. It can be hard to maintain the attitude that I'm going to beat this when faced with the statistics on the disease.

I had hoped this would be my last round of chemo for awhile, but it sounds like I'll have one more round after this one. The clinical trials that he signed me up for have a waiting list of a couple months - if I get approved for them. We also asked about a second opinion on treatment and he had no problem with us going to Sloan Kettering or MD Anderson. He was much less enthused about the IV Vitamin C treatments and ambivalent about the supplements.

I'm not really looking forward to chemo today. The girls are off school on Monday and that's the low point from treatment. I'm looking for playdates for the afternoon (Joe will stay home in the morning). Maybe if I just took some of the drugs they've given me I'd be able to play with them, but I'm not sure of the side effects at this point. What if I took one and zonked into the table for a 4 hour nap. Kate would love it, Jenna would go for the candy jar, then they MIGHT call dad, or China.

Quick update

The next chemo round isn't until Friday the 20th. My Dr. was booked up until then, but technically it was only supposed to be next Tues - not that much of a delay. Joe's researching a second opinion with MD Anderson in Houston or Sloan Kettering in NY. Since neither of us are thrilled with the latest direction in treatment, there must be SOMETHING else we can do. He gets to follow the more conventional route and I get to pursue the "alternative" stuff. I'm starting to get more excited about the IV Vitamin C route and would like to try that once chemo is over. In the mean time I've started taking a multi vitamin that makes my pee look like you can see it from the space shuttle - it's not a color normally found in nature! Too much information for some of you? I have other supplements, but thought I'd run them by the Dr. before taking.

The last round of chemo has worn off and I'm feeling pretty good. Even my arm is better (the chemo leaves tracks and a lot of pain). Last week Julie gave me a Therapeutic Touch session, this week I had a massage (compliments of the ACSers :) and last night Joe and I went to the Franciscan ministry in St. Paul. There were three people that volunteer to pray with you and lay hands on you. I was so nervous before we went in, worried that I would get kicked out for not being Catholic, or would start laughing if they spoke in tongues, but it ended up being a wonderful time. It's amazing how people that you don't know can care about you, kind of builds up your belief in humanity!!

Pink Wig

Lisa brought over a pink wig for me. As you can see, it was more of a punk look than the "Sex in the City Look" that I was going for. Maybe if I would have worn mascara......

Lisa is also the one that gave me my Neulasta shot in the MOA parking lot on Wednesday. I almost dropped it in the car which freaked me out a bit (it's a really expensive shot), but she saved the day and stuck it right in! Then we went and did a couple laps around the mall. I'm getting more fatigued than usual, but we still made it around a couple times. There were some muscles aches and pains from the shot, but there didn't appear to be any other side effects. This is the shot that is supposed to get my white blood cell counts up after chemo on Tues. It's a bit ironic that my counts were higher before this chemo than they have been since we started and it's the first time I had the shot.

It's also a bit ironic that everyone in the house had a cold EXCEPT the one with the compromised immune system. HA. Apparently I'm the only one that washes their hands twenty times a day, or my white blood cells just show up when I need them. Either way something is working! Jenna and Joe have pretty active colds, Kate's seems to come and go as necessary for hugs or other attention.

I'm still researching other options. I have a couple nutritionists to interview, there is an IV Vitamin C therapy north of St. Cloud and a clinic in Mexico (on the beach) to check out. There is a homeopath in St. Cloud, supplements to figure out, and many, many books to read. Julie has offered to do energy healing (Therapeutic Touch) and I'm REALLY excited about that. Everyone has been asking about Dr. GU, and I haven't gone for a couple weeks (probably why I'm so tired), but I'll go again after the next chemo treatment. I can't do his herbs anymore, but the acupuncture works for me. This cancer business can be a full time job!!