I spend most of my time convinced, or convincing myself that I'm not sick. By the way, we're no longer saying I have cancer, now it's just an "illness". It works most of the time, but there are those moments when you just get blindsided by the "illness" slapping you in the face. Pretty much whenever I try to plan something more than a week out, will I have chemo? Or when you hear about someone who's not doing well. Farrah Fawcett is all over the tv and internet. Or when you worry about the waffles you just ate, even if they did have real maple syrup on them. A whole foods diet is much harder than you think. Maybe it would be easier if I had a guarantee that it would work. Funny how life doesn't hand you any guarantees. Ha, ha.
It's been nice enough to go for bike rides, plant flowers, and avoid housework. Hopefully the sun will burn off the last of the colds that the girls and I have been carrying around for a couple weeks. It's soccer season and it would be nice if the weather would warm up a tad for us parents sitting on the fields....Kate asked me this morning if she was going to score a goal. WHAT did I do with that crystal ball?? She just figured out that Joe and I were boyfriend and girlfriend before we got married. For some reason that was just hilarious. Then she wanted to know if all the boys were sad when I married daddy. Bless her heart. Yes, Kate, they were devastated, crying for weeks, some of them are still in therapy....wait, that's Joe.
Next Dr. visit is the beginning of June, right after Jenna gets her braces (it is NOT fun watching your 8 year old get 4 teeth yanked out of her mouth). No scans, but conversation on next steps for treatment. I still want to have the chemos tested against my tumors before they go in the bod, hopefully delaying treatment until the end of summer.
For those of you that have seen the movie "Earth", they show two baby ducks falling out of a tree from 5 different camera angles, so Kate said it was raining ducks. It's not nearly as cute in the retelling, but it still makes me laugh!
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7 comments:
Oh, but Liz, there are guarantees in life. It's guaranteed to have some ups, some downs and then more ups and a few more downs. The game is...knowing how to listen to both your head and your heart to lead you through the ride; knowing the entire time that we are here to learn some lessons, have some laughs and hold our arms high in the air making the ride that much more thrilling .
Once again, you had me busting out laughing telling the story of Kate's discovery. What fun you and your family have together, it's as if I can hear the giggles and laughs all the way over here at my house.
And, chemo is a little like a roller coaster ride too...when it's over you may throw-up a little, but the roller coaster ride is way more fun.
Quack,quack!
Monica
I feel sorry for those ducks. As Monica said, you keep us all in tears...whether laughter or sadness....the boyfriend/girlfriend thing is hysterical!! And the other boys heartbroken....oh, what a sweetie who loves her Mama!!!
I wondered how you dealt with it all...I mean, like you said, calling it an "illness"...until it pops up and you have to think of so many other things along with it.
Sweet friend, I'm lifting you up to Your Father God who is the only constant we have...
And, I'm going to post my address in an email to you right now...I keep forgetting!
Love & Hugs,
Sue Boo :)
PS...It was raining ducks, dogs, cats, buckets...you name it, it was coming down over here...for about 30 minutes...thankfully, we were in a restaurant watching all the people look like they'd just taken a shower. lol.
Everyone is in a different place and you have to remember that and not compare your situations. Just because Farrah is having a difficult time, does not mean that you are going the same route (you are much prettier and I mean that and thank God that Joe is not getting arrested like Ryan - I know too much about their lives).
Enjoy the sunshine and send any words of wisdom my way on gardening and making plants grow. I basically suck at it unless you are a tomato (they don't need much help).
Love you kiddo. Thinking of you, praying for you and thanking you for making me smile.
I thought the song was its raining men....guess that got that wrong.
Karen
Hey, Liz. Thinking of you lately. Karen is right, everyone's situation is different. I applaud Farrah for telling her story on national tv (and it may help some people), but you are young and strong and have your own story. Hang in there!
Kate sounds like a doll. I just love those innocent little questions that come from the heart. My girls are going to see "Earth" with their school on Tuesday. Lucky kids--I don't remember having movie field trips in elementary school. I'll have to ask what they thought of the ducks.
Take care,
Janelle
Hey Liz. I don't check into your blog entries all that often, but I think of you very very often. I think I mentioned once before that I am doing consulting work at Mayo in Rochester - I fantasize about just bumping into you there sometime and giving you a big ol' hug. What are the odds?
I stay down there 3-4 nights each week, so I'm an expert on the local restaurant scene. If you ever feel like eating when you're down there, try Roscoe's BBQ on 4th St, across the river from downtown. Get a big sloppy BBQ pork sandwich and find picnic table along the river to have a picnic. OK, so that's probably nowhere near being on your diet, not for now anyway.
Enjoy the gardening!
Yer pal,
Tom
Hi Liz: hope you guys had a very nice holiday - holidays being a relative thing based on what we make of them! I pray your doctors can pin this thing down Liz - how elusive can it remain?
Liz,
Jim told me about this website and your illness. You are so strong and smart - I know you will beat this. I was glad to read about your family - you all sound so happy. I always knew you would become a wonderful mother.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Keep writing - you touch so many with your stories!
Jill Lipski (Wiltzius)
P.S. I've see the movie and I agree with Kate!
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