A brief history

11/4/2008

Today was the first day of chemo. First there was blood drawn, next a visit with the chemo doc and then the big event. It would have been less of an event if I wouldn't have started bawling as soon as I checked in. There was a 13-15 year old girl that was called in before me, so between that and the wristband that for some reason finalized the fact that I did indeed have cancer, I couldn't pull it together. The nurse offered up some additional drugs , but the thought of having to take steriods, antinausea pills, chemo AND a valium seemed to set me straight. At what point does the body just say ENOUGH???

I have cancer. Just cancer. The correct term is carcinoma of unknown source. There is not a primary source that chooses to show itself, but it sure is making itself a nuisance. The scans are showing 6 tumors on various bones. Two have been cut out during surgeries. The tumur on my femur left enough of a hole that there is now a metal plate attached with 5 screws to prevent fracture. Apparently I'll never be an elite runner, but there wasn't much chance of that before the surgery either. The other tumor that was removed was on the manubrium (sternum). High enough that I won't be wearing Vneck anything again.

After the surgeries, radiation started. There are 3 tumors on my spine and they aren't easily accessed by surgery, hence the need for radiation. Two of the tumors are on one vertebrae and they had started to bust out of the bone and into the surrounding area and stood a chance of pushing on the spinal cord. The third tumor wasn't in a position to bother anything just yet, so we're ignoring that one for now. ...

The big hole in my femur also deserved some radiation to discourage any cells from starting another attack. At the time of the surgery an oncological removal of bone was not done. The U wasn't convinced that the tumor was cancerous, and I'm not sure they would have anyway since they were already aware of a couple tumors on the spine at the time of the surgeries.

The radiation lasted for two weeks and left me tired, nauseated and with big, red, patches on my back, stomach and butt. Nice. It was the radiation oncologist (Dr. Doom and Gloom) that explained what we were dealing with. I asked if the tumors were going to be done at the end of the two weeks and her response was that they weren't trying to cure me. What I heard after that was "blah, blah, blah, we'll try and make you as comfortable as possible, blah, blah, blah". She is also the one that confirmed I'd be at a stage IV if there were a primary source identified. We don't like her.


The medical oncologist was much more pragmatic. He said we need to wait and see how the cancer and I respond to chemo. We have to wait through 2-3 rounds of chemo before another scan, which is why I believed I was ready for this. At 5- 6 rounds we can take a break from the chemo......

The good news is that I'm young and stong enough to be given a triple dose of one of the drugs. That is good news...right??? It takes about two hours for the first treatment and I got a heating pad for my hand to lessen the discomfort. You know it can't be good for you if it hurts going in. There are 6 other chairs in the room and there were only 3 other people at any given time in the room with me. NONE of them looked around and they mostly pretended to sleep. Maybe that's how you feel after a couple rounds of the crap. We'll see soon enough.

For now it's time to take the Hannah Montana messenger bag and head back to Jenna, Kate and Joe. Don't worry I asked Jenna if I could borrow the bag for the day!